Safety or Growth?

Today has been a day of safety AND growth for me.  Safety, because I did alot of introspection and meditations since awakening. I believe there was learning, and therefore growth today. As I sit here drinking my Sleepytime Extra tea, which I’ve grown accustomed to tasting….I am trying to think of all I did today. Today was also a great source of pain for my reconstructed foot with CRPS/RSD. So alot of my time was spent in the bathroom sitting on the edge of the tub soaking it in hot water.

I did a morning meditation with Insight Timer, which I really liked. I even bookmarked it. I then plopped into a hot epsom salt with essential oils for pain relief bath, for the first soak of the day. I ended up not listening to Jack Kornfield’s Buddhism for Beginners on Audible, as planned. Instead I chose to text to a friend who has been having a rough time lately. It was an intimate conversation, in which we shared things that not alot of people know about us. I don’t mind telling you that mine revolved around the emotional domestic abuse from my ex-husband that ended like 15 years ago, but still haunts me. I also shared the above picture quote with her. When I saw it on Instagram, I shared it because she loves giraffes. I had no idea I’d be re-sharing that in a screen shot about an hour later, due to where our conversation had gone.

I started to listen to Jon Kabbat-Zinn’s talk from Monday night on Sound True’s A Year of Mindfulness, but didn’t quite get finished yet. It is very interesting. He starts out talking about “Dropping In,” and allowing yourself to be mindful instead of just having thoughts running your brain’s day.  He later said, “Mindfulness is the same as Heartfulness.” I found that interesting. It made me think of the “Meta” or “Loving Kindness” meditations I’ve been doing with more frequency lately.  He also spoke about what it would mean if our government would have Mindfulness and Heartfulness. Our banking system could benefit from it, as well. Well, the whole World could. It was very profound, but how do we get there? Especially right now when slurs of all kinds seem to be the norm…even if they are Twittered out. How do we get past the hate that is so palpable? Alot of meditation leaders say meditation is the way to go. So I will start with me, and meditate at least once a day, most likely twice, and be mindful as much as possible, sending loving kindness out to our world.

I just listened in on a webinar through MindValley on Abundance. It was very interesting. I’d like to sign up for the course, and even though it was discounted 75%, I just don’t have the money right now. Especially since the lapse with my secondary insurance hasn’t been ironed out yet.    And I’m afraid to call the office and speak to Her Royal Bitchiness. I’m putting it off until next week. That will be two weeks that the main office had to get my payments they claim to never get. (That didn’t seem to be a problem in the past decade until October.) I need to preserve my money because I need to eat and have gas for my car for the rest of the month.

I’m still having issues with the Insight Timer app on my phone. It’s not downloading correctly yet. The last email two days ago told me to uninstall and reinstall the app. That was the third time I’ve done that since the upgrade in which I chose to purchase that package on December 28th. But I plan on drifting off tonight with another Yoga Nidra meditation. They are so wonderful, especially Jennifer Piercy. I really find her voice soothing.

That was about all I did today was read and listen to meditations. And soaked my foot. We did watch the 2nd episode of Season 11’s X-Files. I’m so glad my one friend told me about Hulu. But it’s so weird not having cable for years, and then suddenly being subjected to commercials again. We mainly watch stuff on YouTube, Gaia TV, Curiosity Stream, and in the past, NetFlix. I just unsubscribed to that, since I signed up for Hulu. I could sign up for the no commercial option, but that was more expensive.

In conclusion, today has been a wonderful day of very low stress to my brain. It was great. Now if I could get the CRPS/RSD in my foot to behave, that would be awesome. Yes, I feel like I had a great deal of growth today in myself.

Take Care, Be As Well As Possible, and Until Next Time…

P.S. Those Blue polka dots are my PJ pants….This is how we compute here.